Emotions; Why They Make You Feel the Way They Do and How to Cope With Them

Emotions are feelings that one experiences, and if one chooses to, one also expresses how those emotions make him or her feel. Having the ability to express his or her feeling, one must know when to express them and when not to express them because the expression of one’s feelings can say a lot about one. One’s obsession with maintaining one’s image has been the root cause of our constant battle to remain emotionally isolated from others. Charlotte Brontë, in her classic novel, Jane Eyre, portrays how one’s image can be distorted by the expression or lack of expression of one’s emotions. One must know when he or she can express his or her feelings publicly or privately, or when one has to keep them hidden.

If one wants to be successful in the professional world, one must have an almost staid first impression, meaning, that one must be very serious and almost emotionless. As OTILIO describes in his blog, “Hidden emotions”, a good habit for one to acquire is having the ability to filter one’s emotions and decide when to express them or not to express them. OTILIO writes in his blog, attempting to define success, “Jane says that in order for her to be able to be a successful governess, she must mask her emotions from others; she must hide her confusion and insecurity because if people were to see this side of her, they are less likely to take her seriously, and less likely to hire her” (“Hidden emotions”). Basically, he says that to be professionally successful one must maintain an image of stability and emotional strength by not expressing emotions of weakness such as sadness or anger. In Jane Eyre Jane is approached by Mr. Rochester, and he tries to get her to show her emotions to him. Jane refuses to give in to temptation and congratulates herself, “Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome discipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit,” which shows us that in the professional business world one should not give into the temptation of wanting to express his or her feelings (Brontë 164).

On the contrary, the personal life is on the extreme opposite end of the emotion expression spectrum. In a relationship, one does not want to appear heartless by not showing his or her feelings to his or her significant other. To have a successful personal life, one should be open and express his or her feelings so that one and his or her significant other can be on the same page. As ERIKA states in her blog, “Is love is in the air? [SIC]”, if one fakes his or her emotions for another or keeps them hidden things become complicated. “Its not the easiest thing, but if you approach the situation correctly, then it becomes easier because all the secrets, emotions, and feelings will be recognized and not hidden [SIC],” writes ERIKA (“Is love is in the air?” [SIC]). Acknowledging the fact that relationships are already complicated, ERIKA suggests that when one is open and shares his or her feeling in a relationship, the relationship becomes a much smoother and enjoyable ride. Later in the novel Jane realizes that she loves Mr. Rochester and that she has learned how to love him. “I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love Mr. Rochester: I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me…,” here Brontë is portraying, through Jane, that the expression of love, an emotion, is learned and that one should learn how to express feelings such as love with his or her feelings with his or her significant other (Brontë 188).

“Jane, I consider you a most intelligent and apt lady whom has come to learn how to control her feelings and emotions throughout her life by overcoming a variety of experiences. You are able to stop, think, analyze, think once more, and take control of a situation,” writes KAEH in his blog, “Take it if you may” (“Take it if you may”). Basically, he is complimenting Jane on her ability to stop and think about a situation and whether or not to show her emotions, which is what one should do in any situation. Emotions are like atoms, they have their positive, negative, and neutral parts. One should know when expressing his or her emotion will have a positive outcome or a negative one. There are also times in which it does not matter if you show emotions or not. The important thing is that one should know when the right time is, don’t you think so?